I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Archive for the ‘Women’ Category

Why are Women MEAN???

I was scrolling through Facebook earlier (yes, I should have been working, but I was taking a short break) and came across a post from a friend of mine:

“Every year around Valentines Day there is one of our doctors that gives everyone who works here a long stemmed rose. “Because every woman deserves a rose on Valentine’s Day” This doctor is off tomorrow so they were passing them out today. Guess who they looked at and kept walking by???? Yeah me. True story.”

WHY??? What was the point of this? To make her feel small? To embarrass her?

All they really succeeded in doing was making me MAD!! Seriously. I promptly ordered her some flowers and had them delivered today with a card that said they were from “Someone who thinks you’re Pretty Special.” Now, yes, she know I sent them. But her co-workers don’t. ūüôā They just see some beautiful red tulips (because EVERYONE gets roses! I had to be different) on her desk.

Yes, part of me wanted to rub it in their faces. They got A rose. She got a bouquet of tulips.

I didn’t like the way they made her feel — or how I imagine she felt — because I’ve felt that way.

Left out.
Ignored.
Excluded.
Inferior.
Unloved.

But she is NOT any of those things. She is WONDERFUL. She’s Smart. Witty. Funny. Wicked (in the best possible way). Beautiful, inside and out. She’d drop anything and everything for her friends and family.

She goes out of her way to make people feel cared for. Included. Important.

For these “women” to try to take that away from her just made my blood boil!!!

L. has been a great friend to my husband for a long time (no, we’re NOT doing that math), and (lucky for me) extended that friendship to me, even though she barely knows me.

She is Awesome! I hope she doesn’t let their pettiness get to her. There are people who believe in her. Who know just how Important she is. How Kind. Generous. Compassionate. Loyal. Gorgeous. And certainly more of a Woman than her co-workers will ever be.

Mean Girls may get older, but clearly they Never Grow Up.

How to Read a Man

I know this sounds like an impossibility. ¬†Men are incomprehensible. ¬†Men only understand what women say about 60% of the time and sometimes less than that. ¬†WAY less. ¬†Men don’t know how to talk to women without pushing the wrong buttons which then causes a fight or the silent treatment, and then men don’t understand what they did to cause it! ¬†But women can understand.

Some men are great at talking about how they feel, what they want. ¬†Some men know how to listen to a woman and understand what she’s saying. ¬†But a lot of men don’t. ¬†WE are incomprehensible to them. ¬†WE completely misunderstood what they said. ¬†WE get mad or get our feelings hurt over nothing. ¬†Most men will never understand.

Forget Mars and Venus. ¬†Men and Women are not from different planets. ¬†Men and Women aren’t different species. ¬†Men are not less — or more — evolved than Women. ¬†We’re just different. ¬†Here is my theory on why, and what women can do to read men a little better.

Women are “emotional” creatures. ¬†I don’t mean we are completely illogical and let our emotions rule our every word and deed. ¬†But you have to admit, a man gets through to us more quickly, more completely when he appeals to our emotions. ¬†Flowers and other gifts appeal to our romantic emotions. ¬†Affection appeals to our comforting emotions. ¬†Listening to our problems (without trying to “fix” them) appeals to our need to rid ourselves of excess emotion. ¬†And saying “I love you” appeals to our loving emotions. ¬†We ARE emotional creatures.

Men aren’t. ¬†They are logical creatures. ¬†That doesn’t mean they are without emotions. ¬†They feel just like we do, just maybe not as strongly in some situations. ¬†But watch a dad at his kid’s football game or other athletic event and see how UNemotional he stays! ¬†Or watch his face when you present your child to him for the first time. ¬†My husband, the typical stoic male, was completely overwhelmed at the birth of our sons. ¬†I remember his face was filled with awe. ¬†He actually could not speak. ¬†He took one finger and ran it down our son’s chest and you could see the amazement on his face that this little perfect baby had come from US. ¬†He couldn’t hide his emotions that day. ¬†And I personally treasure that memory.

But men like logic. ¬†If we tell them a problem, they are designed to want to fix it. ¬†Flowers and other gifts are meaningless to them really. ¬†Men are creatures of “action” so sitting and listening and talking just isn’t in their makeup. ¬†They like to DO. ¬†They cut the grass. ¬†They take out the garbage. ¬†They go to work. ¬†They don’t do any of those things for themselves. ¬†They do it for US. ¬†They do things for us as their way of taking care of us, and to them, that is showing love.

So the next time you wonder if your husband really loves you, if he even “sees” you, look around. ¬†Stop and think about everything he¬†does. ¬†I bet the list is longer than you think. ¬†Don’t think about the last time he “gazed lovingly into your eyes.” ¬†Think about when he worked extra hours to bring home a little more money. ¬†Don’t try to remember the last time he said, “I love you.” ¬†Remember the last time he gathered up the garbage without you asking.

That is how you read a man — by his Actions. ¬†When it comes to men, Actions really do speak louder than words.

www.awriterweavesatale.com/

Author, and Editor of Literary and Arts Magazine, The Woven Tale Press

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