I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Archive for the ‘Strong’ Category

Why are Women MEAN???

I was scrolling through Facebook earlier (yes, I should have been working, but I was taking a short break) and came across a post from a friend of mine:

“Every year around Valentines Day there is one of our doctors that gives everyone who works here a long stemmed rose. “Because every woman deserves a rose on Valentine’s Day” This doctor is off tomorrow so they were passing them out today. Guess who they looked at and kept walking by???? Yeah me. True story.”

WHY??? What was the point of this? To make her feel small? To embarrass her?

All they really succeeded in doing was making me MAD!! Seriously. I promptly ordered her some flowers and had them delivered today with a card that said they were from “Someone who thinks you’re Pretty Special.” Now, yes, she know I sent them. But her co-workers don’t. ūüôā They just see some beautiful red tulips (because EVERYONE gets roses! I had to be different) on her desk.

Yes, part of me wanted to rub it in their faces. They got A rose. She got a bouquet of tulips.

I didn’t like the way they made her feel — or how I imagine she felt — because I’ve felt that way.

Left out.
Ignored.
Excluded.
Inferior.
Unloved.

But she is NOT any of those things. She is WONDERFUL. She’s Smart. Witty. Funny. Wicked (in the best possible way). Beautiful, inside and out. She’d drop anything and everything for her friends and family.

She goes out of her way to make people feel cared for. Included. Important.

For these “women” to try to take that away from her just made my blood boil!!!

L. has been a great friend to my husband for a long time (no, we’re NOT doing that math), and (lucky for me) extended that friendship to me, even though she barely knows me.

She is Awesome! I hope she doesn’t let their pettiness get to her. There are people who believe in her. Who know just how Important she is. How Kind. Generous. Compassionate. Loyal. Gorgeous. And certainly more of a Woman than her co-workers will ever be.

Mean Girls may get older, but clearly they Never Grow Up.

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As a Not-So-Strong Woman…..

My last post was about being “A Strong Woman.” But this hasn’t been the best month for me, so I thought I would talk about the flip side of the coin – being a “Not-So-Strong Woman.”.

We have all had them. Days when nothing seemed to go right. Days that seemed to last foooooorrreveeeeeer with Nothing being accomplished. Days when the kids seemed to STAY on our last nerve, and then jump up and down on it. Days when we fought back tears all day for no apparent reason. I dare you to deny you had at least one of those days.

Sometimes there is a reason. Maybe we had a fight with our Significant Other. Maybe our child got in trouble at school. Maybe we had a car wreck. Maybe we burned supper.  Sometimes there is a reason.

But sometimes there isn’t. For some reason, we just can’t be cheerful. We can’t laugh. ¬†Everything seems to be going wrong. We snap at our Significant Other. We lose our patience with our kids. We lose our temper at work. And we don’t know why.

Reason or no, we feel . . . Not-So-Strong. But we keep going. We may take a time-out for ourselves and try to get ourselves together, but we come back. We push on through even if there is no fight left in us. We are Not-So-Strong, but we keep on doing what has to be done.

We are Women. There is no other choice for us.

We are Women.  We keep going. Like the Energizer Bunny, we keep going.

We are Women. We ignore our weakness. No, we find Strength in our weakness.

We are Women. We are Strong even when we are Not-So-Strong.

We Are Women.

But Men, when you see your woman feeling Not-So-Strong (and you may really have to pay attention to tell because we’re good at hiding those things), be there for us. ¬†Don’t try to “fix” us, for sometimes we can’t be “fixed,” we can only be mended with time. ¬†Instead, Help us. ¬†Hug us. ¬†Hold us. ¬†Appreciate us. ¬†Love us.

Sometimes, a helping hand that we aren’t expecting can do wonders. ¬†Sometimes, a quick hug can energize us. ¬†Sometimes, holding us for a few moments (and maybe let us shed a few silent tears) can mean the world to us. ¬†Sometimes, a simple “Thank You” can revive us. ¬†Sometimes, a heartfelt “I Love You” can work miracles.

We Are Women. . . . but we aren’t always quite so strong.

As a Strong Woman…….

We Women feel the need to be strong. ¬†We have to be. ¬†There is so much we must do, so much we are for which we are held responsible (by ourselves if no one else does), so little time for all we need to get done. ¬†Sometimes it’s too much. ¬†Sometimes we would like to be weak, just for a moment….we want to give in to the pressure and collapse, just for a moment…….but then who would pick up our load and carry on?

So we’re strong. ¬†We do what must be done. ¬†In some ways — emotional ways, mental ways — we can be as strong as men, stronger than some, because we must be. ¬†Our loads force us to be. ¬†We wake up in the morning; we do this here, and we go there, we take care of this, and we handle that, and finally we will go to sleep and dream of things yet to be done. ¬†Like the old adage, “A woman’s work is never done.” ¬†And it is true. ¬†Whether you or young or not so young, a working woman or housewife, working mother or stay-at-home-mommy, whether your children are infants, toddlers, school-aged, teenagers, or grown and gone, the chores are endless.

The chores are endless…….and so is the worry about what has to be done, the stress of deciding how those chores will get done, the feelings of inadequacy when they don’t get done. ¬†A vicious cycle we women suffer every day. ¬†Most days, however, we’re fine. ¬†This is our life and we are content with it; Happy even. ¬†But occasionally……

To me, and to most women I believe, if someone takes to time to actually “see” us, and realize we’re NOT okay, the support for that moment is overwhelming…..and it can give us the strength to go on, to continue doing what must be done. ¬†It repletes what we have exhausted, the one resource we need above almost all others.
So the next time you see a woman working seemingly tirelessly, non-stop, whether she is getting a lot accomplished or appearing to go nowhere, stop and LOOK at her, “see” her, and if she needs a hug, give her one. ¬†Sometimes a hug can do wonders. ¬†An acknowledgement of how much she has accomplished can lift flagging spirits. ¬†Words of appreciation and thanks spoken from the heart of a loved one can bring joy. ¬†All three can work miracles.
Know that your women (daughter, wife, mother, friend) is¬†STRONG. ¬†She deals with things every day that you know nothing about. ¬†She probably has scars she doesn’t want to burden you with when they hurt her. ¬†Believe in her. ¬†Support her. ¬†And when she feels weak, hold her. ¬†Love her. ¬†Let her be weak for a moment. ¬†Tell her that it’s¬†Okay¬†to let go.You will see a stronger woman emerge from your embrace. ¬†And a greater bond will have developed between the two of you for sharing that moment.
www.awriterweavesatale.com/

Author, and Editor of Literary and Arts Magazine, The Woven Tale Press

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That one little thought that catches on... and multiplies.

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