…1 week and 4 days. 376 days since I lost my mother. And it still feels like I lost part of myself. But I did. I lost my mother. One of my two best friends (the other is my husband).
My sister lost her mother.
My boys and my nephew lost their grandmother.
My husband and my brother-in-law lost their mother-in-law.
My aunts and uncles lost their sister.
My cousins lost their aunt.
I’m not the only one that lost. I’m not the only one hurting still.
But it feels that way.
Grief is lonely.
Everyone grieves differently, so everyone grieves alone. My sister and I both lost our mother, but we grieve differently. She doesn’t understand exactly how I feel, just like I don’t understand exactly how she feels.
But I know we ALL still hurt. There is a hole in me. There is a hole in them. None of us are complete anymore. Memories are great, but they can’t hug my sister and me. Pictures are wonderful, but they can’t send birthday cards to her grandchildren.
I wish we could see her one more time. I wish I could hug her one more time. I wish I could say “I love you” one more time.
But I’m glad she’s not hurting anymore. I’m glad she isn’t struggling for breath anymore.
I’m happy for her, but I still cry for us.
I love you, Mama. I miss you. I always will.