I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Scabs & Scars

I have two friends having marital trouble right now.  Okay, the trouble is really over.  One is signing divorce papers in a couple weeks, and the other……well, the paperwork may not be started, but I think it’s a formality.  I feel bad for them.  Really bad.

My first friend is hurting pretty bad.  She tried to work it out, but just couldn’t.  The details don’t matter — and if they matter to you, that’s just tough because it’s HER story to tell, not mine.  I hurt for her.  She lost several friends over this.  She’s trying to take care of herself, her kids, her new place, and. . . . .well, her new lifestyle.  It all changed.  It seemed like it changed in a blink.  I’m sure it felt like forever to her, but to those of us that didn’t know what was going on inside her marriage (and we never really know what anyone’s marriage is really like, do we?) it seemed to happen in just a couple of day.  There was a castle.  Then there was a vacant hill.  Boom!  Gone.

My other friend is NOT hurting.  That’s what worries me.  She’s past all of that.  When the pain stops, that’s when you really know it’s over.  I know from experience.  When that final straw breaks and your first reaction is to smile, it’s over.  It doesn’t matter what you do from there on out, it’s done.  Finished.  IF they work it out (and I doubt that’s going to happen) it will never be the same.  I don’t think it will even be a marriage.  When the other person in the marriage loses all power to hurt you, they lose their standing.  A marriage takes two people to succeed.  When one holds all the power and the other holds none, it just won’t work.

Trust is gone in both cases.  Pain or not, there are wounds — some are just further along in the healing process.  Scabs and scars.  That is all that is left of two once good marriages.  Now four adults and three kids all have different lives.  They are different people than they were just six months ago.

And I can’t do anything for them.  I’m used to trying to help my friends.  That’s what friends do.  We help.  But I can’t.  I can’t fix this.  I can’t lessen the hurt.  I can’t fast forward time until everyone feels better.  Scabs and scars, and me with no band-aids.

I feel bad for all of them.  I wish I could just DO something.  But I can’t.  All I have to offer is a shoulder, an ear, and hugs.  I can be supportive, and listen.  Those things seem like nothing when you’re watching marriages break apart like the ground in an earthquake.  I just hope those scabs and scars cover wounds that are minimal.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

www.awriterweavesatale.com/

Author and Editor of Literary and Arts Magazine, The Woven Tale Press

Questionable Parenting

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Curiously Strange, Strangely Curious

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Caffeinated Me

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

Love on Life and Love

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

What have I Done?

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

A Mummy Scorned

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

thesinglecell

That one little thought that catches on... and multiplies.

Daughter, Wife, Mother, . . . Woman

I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a mother. But through it all, I have been and always will be, a woman.

%d bloggers like this: